Research into the history of asexuality is only just beginning to gain any traction. Which is fitting, because it’s only in the last decade, really, that there has been an awareness that asexuality exists at all – and that awareness is very far from being widespread outside the LGBTQ part of the internet. We are still very much an invisible orientation, and as such not much is known about our history.
Having said that, we do know that the Kinsey Reports – the hugely influential studies of human sexuality published in 1948 has a sliding scale of 0-6 to measure how heterosexual or homosexual someone was, and a seperate category X for those who are not attracted to anyone. That’s us. So clearly we’ve been around since the first serious investigation was going on.
In fact, according to this discussion in AVEN’s forums as early as 1896, budding sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, in his book Sappho und Sokrates says There are individuals who are without any sexual desire (“Anästhesia sexualis”)
He also says It is also not possible to artificially evoke the kind of drive, that is not existent or almost not noticeable. In case of a complete atrophy there is no way that it would spontaneously develop.
And that’s what I would like to talk about today. One of the places where we are almost certain to find reflections of ourselves is in medicine, as a problem to be cured. Acing History has a good summary of the pathologisation of asexuality under the terms of ‘frigidity’, ‘sexual anaesthesia’, and more recently ‘Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder’ (HSDD). This gives us a great place to start when it comes to trying to uncover our history, but it also segues into something of direct relevance today.
This year’s theme for the IDAHOT organisation is Mental Health and Well-Being. Normally I would talk in more vague terms about all of us under the (Queer, MOGAI, LGBTQI+) umbrella. All of us, after all, suffer ill effects to our mental and physical well being by being members of a minority in general, and particularly by being members of a minority that is opressed.
However, today I sat down to write my post immediately after having signed this petition:
Tell the FDA: Disinterest in Sex Shouldn’t Be Treated With A Pill
and I thought ‘well this is spot on theme for a blog hop concerned with the mental health and physical wellbeing of queer people, and it has the advantage of being something I can talk about from experience.’
I really encourage you to go to the petition and at least read the article that accompanies it. The long and the short of it is that – clearly not having the wisdom of Magnus Hirschfeld – they’re bringing in a pill that they claim can do something for disinterest in sex in women. So that they can claim that it’s not going to be used to try to ‘cure’ asexuals of their orientation, the FDA have specifically said that the pill should not be prescribed to people who are not distressed about their disinterest because they identify as asexual.
This is nice, of course. But let’s ask ourselves, how many of those women who are distressed at their lack of interest in sex are distressed because they’ve never heard of asexuality? How many of them even know that asexuality is an option?
While we continue to be an invisible orientation, it’s completely disingenuous to say ‘of course we won’t press this on the asexuals.’ Seriously. Ten years ago I’d have taken it myself because I didn’t know what I was. I didn’t know there was absolutely nothing wrong with being disinterested in sex.
I am livid to think that in my desperation to be ‘normal’ I might have grasped at the chance to take a drug that I had to take every day for the rest of my life, a drug with significant side effects and little apparent effectiveness. And I might have done that, not knowing there was nothing wrong with me at all except that I wasn’t straight.
I am livid to think that while there are people out there who don’t know asexuality exists, of course they’re going to be distressed about themselves. Of course they’re not going to protest that there’s something wrong about them being forced to have sex they don’t want, because people somehow think it’s a disease not to want it. And it won’t ‘cure’ them, because they don’t need to be cured, but it will be a direct threat to their physical and mental well being.
So please, sign the petition. This is a chance to make history instead of simply observing it. Please also let people know that asexuality is a real thing that has been around as long as research on sexuality has existed, and if you don’t want sex it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.
In honour of the hop, I will be donating to Gendered Intelligence, a great charity for young trans people in the UK. And I will be giving away a book of their choice from my back-catalogue to one commenter chosen at random. Thanks for reading!
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Click here to be taken to the list of participants in the blog hop or use the links below.
Blog Hop for Visibility, Awareness and Equality.
May 20, 2016 at 10:33 am
A thought provoking and intelligent post, my dear.
May 20, 2016 at 10:37 am
Thank you! I felt a little guilty that it wasn’t entirely history-focussed, but otoh the petition and its relevance seemed like an important thing to bring to people’s attention.
May 20, 2016 at 5:39 pm
Definitely. Thank you for that link, I’ve signed it.
I hate how “being normal” is such a big thing in our society. Would be much better if we all aimed to “be fabulous” and “be excellent to one another” instead.
May 20, 2016 at 7:12 pm
YES!!
May 20, 2016 at 7:41 pm
Yes! I always liked the Star Trek ideal of ‘infinite diversity in infinite combinations.’ How boring it would be if we were all exactly the same 🙂
May 20, 2016 at 12:27 pm
That is a really moving post, Alex, thank you. It makes me angry thinking that years ago liking and enjoying sex was considered unnatural, and nowadays it seems the opposite, if you are not into sex you must be ill or a freak… that’s as short minded and obtuse as the other point of view. I hadn’t heard about asexuality till I found out about your book, Blue Steel Chain, which I loved and helped me to understand many things about myself and the people around me. Thank you!
susanaperez7140(at)gmail(dot)com
May 20, 2016 at 4:44 pm
Thank you! And yes, you really can’t win, can you? I think there’s still quite a tension between the sex positivity people and the asexuality positivity people in so far as it’s easy to get asexual-supportiveness confused with sex-shaming, and it’s easy to get sex-positivity confused with the assertion that everyone should want sex. Why does it have to be such a fraught topic, I wonder?
Oh, I’m really glad Blue Steel Chain helped you! It has justified itself being written in that case 🙂 Thank you!
May 21, 2016 at 1:07 pm
Love this post. Education starts at the self for me and finding articles and honest information like this one would be of HUGE importance, concise with great links to further information. You’ve done more than possibly medical professionals might ever do.
Thank you and best of luck in your writing endeavors.
Fellow hop stop, so please don’t include me in your drawing.
Jules
May 21, 2016 at 7:06 pm
Thanks, Jules! Yes. I know I was in the m/m writing community for nearly five years before I came across information about asexuality. If it’s that hard to find when you’re interacting with the queer community, no wonder it’s almost vanishingly invisible elsewhere. I dare say that with more exposure, we’ll end up seeing more overt prejudice against us, but nothing’s ever easy is it? *Hugs* for thinking I could make a difference. That’s really cool. Thank you!
May 21, 2016 at 2:30 pm
Thanks for sharing. I wonder how many lives the “pursuit of normality” has ruined. Awareness is key and this hop is a great addition.
May 21, 2016 at 7:07 pm
Yes, I think this is why ‘why do we need labels? We’re all human beings!’ is so short sighted. It helps to know that human beings come in all sorts of varieties and all of them are ok 🙂
May 21, 2016 at 9:33 pm
Alex,
yours is one of the blogs I have marked to come back to, read again more slowly, really absorb. It’s so packed with things I want to know about…and my poor head is quite overwhelmed right now. But trust me, I will be back to read again and again until it all sinks in.
I’m so damn glad you decided to take place in the hop.
Cherie Noel, Hop Admin
May 22, 2016 at 2:19 pm
Oh thank you! Yes, I think the information is beginning to be out there but you’ve still got to make an effort to go digging for it. And of course if you don’t know asexuality even exists, why would you go digging? Hopefully in another 10 years or so we’ll be as well known as some of the other letters in the quiltbag, but thank goodness for the hop for awareness giving us the chance to let people know it’s out there.
Thank you!
May 25, 2016 at 3:03 am
OMG, I LOVE THIS POST! Thank you for writing how I feel. I’ve written about this both this year and in the past because I define as asexual too. I cannot even tell you how many times I get told that I should just try it when I tell people what being asexual means. Try it and I bet you’ll like it. Umm…no thanks. I was originally distressed about my lack of interest until I found out about asexuality. Instead of creating a pill to “solve the problem,” how about we educate women so that they don’t need to feel so bad about a part of themselves? Then if they want to take a pill to see if it would help, fine, that’s up to them. But don’t tell women that they have a disease when it’s just the way they were born. Yes, there might be women who have actual diseases that this pill could help treat. But you also risk hurting many other women who are just on the asexual spectrum and don’t know what to call it or that that’s a thing.
tiger-chick-1(at)hotmail(dot)com
June 2, 2016 at 1:21 pm
Hi Chickie! I’m so sorry I didn’t reply to you earlier. I didn’t know your comment was here until I was rolling the dice to find out who had won the random prize and it fell on you. So that’s doubly fortunate 🙂 I’ll send you an email separately about that. But yes, I agree with you. I think there’s a place for medical intervention to find out if your lack of interest in sex is a symptom of a medical problem, like a hormone imbalance or something. But if it isn’t, and you’re healthy, then it shouldn’t be considered a problem at all. Sex is not the be all and end all of life, after all!